I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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