I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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