Don't you send me to vm
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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