He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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