quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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