After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize