This girl is more easily done than said...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
