I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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