Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
