can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
