I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
