God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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