what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
