i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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