I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
