come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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