I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
