he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
