Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize