Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
