you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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