Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
