I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
