we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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