Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
