At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize