when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
