How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
