he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
