My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
