Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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