we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
