I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
