Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
