i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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