dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Someone signed my nipple.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
