HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize