i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
