When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
