I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
