Dude my mom stole all your condoms
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
