Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
