Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
