stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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