similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
