you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
