good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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