K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
