just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
