You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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