A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
