We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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