I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
