That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
