im drinking this country out of the recession.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
