I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
