Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
