"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Still dying that you shit outside
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize