Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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