You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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